First of all, thank you for visiting and checking out my new blog! I am very excited about it! For those of you who are wondering why I created this blog, here's why:
1) To share my story which I will do so below
2) To discuss what I have learned about my Catholic Faith
3) To spread God's Word
4) For my own personal sake--so I won't forget what I have learned
5) Because I love blogging & because it's fun! :)
Before I start, I just want to say that I am not trying to start any arguments or fights. I am just using my freedom to post about my Catholic beliefs. If you disagree with what I say, great. You have the right to disagree, but let's just simply agree to disagree. There's nothing wrong with that. So please, no arguments. I will delete all disrespectful comments.
With that said, here's my story of how going my university's Catholic Campus Ministry has made me become a better Catholic individual and has basically changed my life.
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I have no clue wear to start. So I guess I will start from the very beginning...
I was born and raised a Catholic. My parents are both Catholic, so of course they raised my siblings and I as Catholics. I've gone to mass every weekend since I was practically born because, well, that's what my parents do. I didn't know of a life style any other way. I also went to a Catholic school from kindergarten to 12th grade so I was required to take religion classes to learn about my faith. Again, I didn't know of life any other way. I didn't really think much about it, it's just how things were in my life. I never questioned anything.
With that said though, I wasn't the most religious Catholic. I was a "practicing" Catholic because I attended mass every weekend, but I only did so because my parents forced me to. They told me it was a sin if I didn't go so I always did.
In my junior or senior year of high school I started to have the typical doubts that every Christian has at least once in a lifetime. Is God real? Did Jesus really exist? Do we really go to heaven after we die, or is this the only life we will ever have? Etc, etc. I started to consider myself to be an agnostic Catholic (which, looking back, sounds like an oxymoron). I wasn't sure what to believe. I remember telling my mom about this and she said that I should pray about it, so I did. However, I felt as though if God really did exist that he would be mad at me for doubting His existence.
I don't remember when, but I started to believe in God again after awhile, but again, I wasn't the most religious Catholic. I still attended mass every week, but that was pretty much it. I never paid attention during mass, and I didn't think much about God's presence in my life. I only prayed on occasion. I sometimes would go days without praying and not think much of it. I always kind of shrugged it off. It was like "whatever".
My sophomore year of college, I joined my home parish's young adult group and enjoyed it a lot. We talked about controversial topics and I liked how we all had the same opinions on most things, and if not, we were open for discussion about it without any arguing. It was really nice. I also loved the game nights, too. However, when it came to the nights when we all gathered around and read the Bible, I had zero interest. To me, the Bible was a confusing thing with stories that made no sense. I always lost focus whenever we read it so whenever we discussed it, I had no idea what we were talking about. Although I enjoyed the meetings for the most part, I eventually stopped going to the meetings because the meetings were no longer on Sundays (which worked better for me), and were on Thursdays (which were the long days for me at both school and work).
Then comes my senior year. The year I moved out of my parents' house and moved into an apartment with three other girls. I knew that being on my own, I would have to start going to church on campus because going to church was the "right" thing to do. Again, as I mentioned earlier, I had always gone to mass every week so I knew of no difference. I must admit that I did attend church for several weeks on campus my freshman year, but since I never got involved and only went to church, I felt awkward going to a church where I didn't know anybody. I also thought it would be easier to just go to church with my parents. Now, looking back, I wish I had become more involved in my school's Catholic Campus Ministry (CCM) earlier on, but there is nothing I can do about it now. It's definitely better late than never.
Anyways, I started going to church on campus since I was living on campus. I went to their beginning of the school year ice cream social, talked to more people, and started getting more involved. I even made several friends. It was nice. After feeling as though I was the only person on campus with specific beliefs, morals, and values, I finally met a group of people had the same beliefs, morals, and values as myself. Going to CCM activities and events became something I looked forward to doing. I even found myself wanting to go on the fall retreat and ended up having a blast.
Overall, fall semester was great and it was definitely a starting point in my faith. I was starting to pray more, and I was noticing God's presence in my life every day. However, I believe that Spring Semester (my last semester of college) is what really turned things around. Small Faith Community (which is a weekly Bible Study where a group of individuals gathered to discuss the following weekend's readings) started and for the first time in my life, I took an interest in reading the Bible. A few months ago, I wasn't even aware that my family had more than one Bible. I never had any desire at all to read it. It was just a book with confusing stories in it. Although, I still think the Bible has confusing stories in it, I have a strong interest in understanding it more and trying to decipher the readings. I now love reading the Bible. I even asked my parents for a Bible for one for my birthday (which I got). I also love it whenever I see a Bible verse either online or elsewhere.
Discussing the readings every week with the small group of people that gathered every week really helped peek my interest. Other than my family, since I was no longer going to a Catholic school, I had nobody to discuss the readings or anything related to Catholicism. The Small Faith Community discussions were amazing, and I really learned a lot. Our discussions always expanded into talking about more than just the readings. We talked about other things related to our faith. I never thought much about my faith or beliefs before. I had always taken it for granted, but ever since Small Faith Community started, I not only have a strong interest in learning more about the Bible, but about my own faith. Why do we do certain things? What does this mean? What does that mean? Why do we believe this? I found it to be truly remarkable. I remember during Holy Week we were discussing the Easter Vigil mass, our campus minister, Jenna, and our priest, Fr. Ed, were getting so excited. They were talking about it and were getting so enthusiastic about it. It made me realize that I wanted to become enthusiastic about it and about my faith overall.
Besides, Small Faith Community, I started going to even more activities and events than I had Fall Semester. I even started the Women's Book Club which involved discussing an incredible book called How To Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul (which is definitely a book that I recommend all female Christians read, I learned so much from it--but that's a different story.). I also attended the weekly Bosco Nights (which involved different activities every week), Spring Retreat (which was even better than Fall Retreat--it was incredible), Theology on Tap, Jesus Jam, some Wednesday night masses, and many other numerous fun events. Every time I was out of my apartment, my roommates assumed I was at the church.
I truly think being surrounded by passionate Catholics who were around my age helped me become a better Catholic myself. Outside of my family, I didn't know any practicing Catholics and felt rather alone. Now because of CCM, I pray at least twice a day, I have a strong desire to learn more about and discuss the Bible and my Catholic faith, I enjoy attending mass and look forward to it, I have an urge to go to confession more often than just once a year, and so much more.
Most importantly, I notice God's presence in my life every single day. I know that everything happens (or doesn't happen) according to His marvelous plan, and that whatever I want in life, God may not want for me. I may ask God for something, and He may not give it to me, not to upset me, but because I may not be ready for it or because He has something even better for me. Being a college graduate and not knowing where I'm going in my life, I'm super excited to see what God has planned for me.
Looking back, I am convinced that God wanted me to move out and live on campus because He knew I wouldn't have become involved with CCM otherwise. He was calling me to Him and all these other Catholics. I just know it.
I don't really think this blog post has accurately explained how CCM has changed my life. It's so hard to put everything into words, and I know I have forgotten to mention certain things, but I guess that's what future blog posts are for!
With that said, I am far from being the "perfect" Catholic, but I have become a much better Catholic than I was before my senior year. I'm more than just a "robotic, practicing Catholic" who just attends mass just because it's the "right" thing to do. I actually use my faith every single day. That's what I believe to be a true "practicing Catholic". Being a "practicing Catholic" is more than just claiming to be a Catholic, it's a lifestyle.
Thanks for reading!
Many blessings,
Emily
